Why are toddlers so good for us?
“Get down!” I yelled as my two-year-old climbed halfway up the front entry gate of the house. My head was throbbing, my eyes were drooping with exhaustion and I was about ready to wallop my toddler with all the frustration that had been building inside me.
I was done. I couldn’t handle it anymore. One second he was smiling and giving me a kiss, the next minute he was punching me in the face and screaming at me, “Bad!”
What did I do wrong? Was this bi-polar behavior a product of my own negligence or imbalanced disciplinary action? My head was spinning and the headache worsened as I tried to think of solutions.
Finally, I got my toddler down for a nap and the weight of exhaustion, frustration and anxiety crashed like a wave on top of my shoulders. All I could do was pray for these toddler years to be over so that I could actually talk with my son and not have him screaming and hitting out of anger.
I began thinking about my son’s actions and asked myself why he was having such terrible behavior. After some deep introspection, I began studying my own behavior even more than my son’s. Why was I getting so upset? Why was I getting headaches? Where was this immense anger coming from?
All these questions led me to a passage in the Bible that says: “But when God our Savior revealed His kindness and love, He saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of His mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit” (Titus 3:4, 5 NLT).
God opened my mind to see that He had already granted me the gift of salvation when I asked Jesus to be my Savior and He has already given me the power through the Holy Spirit to overcome my sinful, selfish nature, but my son has not come to the age of understanding yet to know that he needs a Savior. I continually pray for my son to accept Christ as his Savior when he comes to an age of understanding, but what’s more important, is that I must constantly pray for my own heart and mind to be renewed by the purity of God’s presence daily. Without that spiritual renewal and cleansing, I am no different than my two-year-old.
This woke me from my angry stupor and showed me several powerful insights as to why toddlers are so good for us:
1. Toddlers help us see the imperfections, impurities and most selfish parts of our nature. We can cover ourselves with nice clothes, pretty makeup, cool hairstyles and even carry a Bible, but the true substance of our heart is revealed when we get angry and stressed. Jesus even told the most religious teachers of His time, “A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart” (Matthew 12:35 NLT). Whatever we fill our minds and souls with will eventually come out.
2. Toddlers help us see the most loving, kind and forgiving part of our nature. As much as I get frustrated with my son when he’s misbehaving, there a ten times more moments of love, kindness and happiness that I experience with him. But, it saddens me that I tend to focus more on the negative behavior than the good behavior. As an adult, I tend to focus my time on worrying about bills, negative words spoken to me or the lack of communication from a friend; instead, I should focus more of my energy on the good things in my life causing me to be more grateful for the beauty around me that I’m missing. The Apostle Paul said, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6, 7 NLT).
3. Toddlers help us see the power of faith over fear. There are times I get upset when my son climbs on top of a table or over a fence, and yet I forget that his concept of fear has not fully developed. His mind is not hindered by the uncertainties of this life and his mortal limitations. He believes that whatever he believes is possible. Unfortunately, my weathered soul and mind doesn’t have such radical faith anymore; I’ve allowed setbacks and disappointments to make me sour and jaded towards God and the good things He has promised. My child could actually be the agent to help build my weathered faith, not hinder it. Jesus told His disciples to have faith in God for the impossible and not seek praise from men by praying in public and wanting attention, “Don’t be like them, for your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask Him!” (Matthew 6:8 NLT)
These three major points helped me view my toddler with a new perspective and also helped me humble myself to ask for God’s help as a parent and as a follower of Christ. If my Heavenly Father knows how to lovingly discipline me without breaking my will, then I know He will help me to shape the behavior and character of my son without destroying his God-given zeal, faith and strong will.
