The Power of Parenting
Is parenting for my child or for me? I was hit with this question when reading an article in REAL SIMPLE magazine about the impact that fathers have on their children and vice versa. The author Frank Pittman, M.D. wrote the book Man Enough and was quoted in the article saying, “These guys who fear becoming fathers don’t understand that fathering is not something perfect men do, but something that perfects the man. The end product of child raising is not the child but the parent.”
This quote has not left my mind for the past several days and I believe God has been trying to teach me a powerful lesson about parenting. Yes, it is crucial to raise physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually healthy children, but I believe that parenting is a beautiful refining process of the parent’s character and soul even more so than the child’s. No longer are you consumed with your own desires, needs and wants; now you have someone else to take care of and serve with selfless responsibility. It is one of the most valuable jobs you will ever possess because you are not just creating a spreadsheet or typing up a power point presentation, you’re molding and shaping a human being who will be an adult and contribute to the future of our world. And you’re doing all of this with no guarantee of payment in return or that this human being will reciprocate your love.
I used to imagine before having my son that parenting was going to be easy if I just prayed enough, read the right books, and called my mom whenever I had a question. Well, I have discovered in my first year as a parent that even the most kind, loving, knowledgeable parents encounter trying situations with their children. I love my son dearly and his strong-willed personality, but there are moments when I have to place him back in his crib and walk out of his room so I can cool down and not get angry or upset. I now realize why my parents would send my brothers and me to our rooms as children before spanking us; they needed to cool down first so that they would not punish us out of their anger.
Parenting is hard. It’s definitely not for the faint at heart. I want to make a bumper sticker that says, “If you want to see what you’re made of, become a parent.” My life is forever changed after becoming a parent, but I’m also glad to see that my selfish attitude, egocentric ambitions, and character are also changed for the better.
Parenting has also revealed my weaknesses and struggles causing me to humbly ask for help from others and rely even more on the power of God for the strength that only He can give when I’m at the end of my rope. He reminds me when my son throws tantrums or wakes me up in the middle of the night, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9 NKJV).
I’m also reminded of how much my Heavenly Father loves me and wants to dissipate my fears when I’m worried about providing everything possible for my son. Jesus said, “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him” (Matthew 7:9, 10 NIV).
So, why did God design this refining process of parenting? I believe He intended it to push us to our limit so that we would constantly realize how much we must rely on God, our Heavenly Father, for everything—food, water, clothing, protection, shelter, etc. He wanted to not only provide a safe haven for children to be raised within a loving, nurturing structure, but He also wanted to remind the world through the living, breathing illustration of parenting that He wants to love, nurture and be intimate with us, too.
I don’t know what tomorrow will hold for me, my husband or my son, but I smile realizing that the lessons I’ve learned today as a parent will help me have greater strength, wisdom and reliability on God for tomorrow’s circumstances.
Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls” (Matthew 11:28, 29 NLT).
